Waking Up to Walk

I am oversized. Classified Obese 1 by health standards. At least, that’s where I fell on the scale 5 years ago. I don’t know now. But the fact is, I am over weight. I am not only talking about how my culture typifies me. I am talking about fact.

I have struggled pushed the weight issue aside thinking that as long as I look good, I am ok. People around me have witnessed how I did crash diets. Every time I was on one, I got mocked. I even tried Beyonce’s famous “Master Cleanse”. Two days into it, I vowed it was the most doable weightloss plan. On the fourth day, I woke up nauseated. I vomited and almost passed out. When my father found out what happened, he ordered commanded that I immediately “stop this nonsense”.

I tried working out. I went to the gym. I tried zumba. I tried Tae Bo. I tried walking miles. I tried jogging. Consistency was my problem.

I tried skipping dinner. Bad, bad choice! Who am I kidding? I always had excuses to NOT skip dinner. “I had a long day.” “I will have a long night.” “I am stressed out.” “I am happy I should celebrate.” “I am sad.”

So my weight story was, “I lose some, I gain some.”

Until last year, when I started making an effort not to lose weight but to live healthy. In September, I tried taking Coke off my diet. I was a “this-goes-well-with-Coke” eater. And so, the first seven days without it was a monumental victory. Then I thought how proud of myself I could be if I can make it till the end of September. By the end of September, I challenged myself to a coke fast until the end of 2012. By the end of the year, I was Coke-free. And then, just when I was about to resume my Coke life, I thought if I can do it for one straight year, then I can have one more achievement on my wall of discipline. To date, by the amazing grace of God, I have not had coke and I am losing the desire for it.  I  still have to completely eradicate “Royal Tru Orange” from my body though.

Yesterday, I read a blog by Rica Peralejo- Bonifacio on how she became a vegetarian. She also gave links to some websites that helped her in the process. I was challenged again, not to lose weight but to live a healthier lifestyle. Meat and rice is 80% of my daily diet. I have decided that I will try taking red meat and pork off my diet for the whole month of February.

Having just declared that to you, my stomach churns with fear that I may not be able to sustain it. I  just buy food from the cafeteria so I don’t really know how this will work for me. But I have already written down some options. I know that this looks like a small feat but God knows how this is going to be hard for me. And so, I asked Him to help me do it. And one more thing, I am allergic to poultry and seafood so that leaves me with lesser options. I am hopeful though that this diet will help me cure of those allergies.

I have also began taking rounds at the stadium every morning. Two weeks ago, my friends and I decided that we should start working out. And so, every morning, at 4.30, we jump out of the bed and drive to the stadium. Morning walks are awesome!

Today, the shy sun was peeking while the full moon was still in view. What a beautiful, beautiful world, this is! 

This leads me to the account of Jesus when He healed the lame man by the pool of Bethsaida. He was there waiting because no one would push him to the pool when the angel stirred it. Then Jesus told him, "Stand up, take up your mat, and walk!"

And so, I wake up, I'm folding my long mats of excuses, and I am walking into a healthier lifestyle. 

Me and one of my walking buddies (my favorite among them.hehe!).
Sshhhhhhh! I hope he doesn't find out that this photo is posted online.
This was taken by one of the students walking behind us one night while
taking a stroll in CPU.

A 'Mary' Moment

Hopeful  Anticipation.  Two words that met my 2013.  

Over the holidays, I pondered upon how Mary, the mother of Jesus, went about everything – from hearing Gabriel’s news to running off to Egypt to escape from Herod. In all the accounts of the birth of Jesus, Mary didn’t say much except when she asked the angel how it was all going to take place -

Luke 1:34  “How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?”.

That, her reply to the angel, and her beautiful short song. Very few speaking lines for a very important character, I must say!

If I was Mary, half of Luke would only  be just about my argument with the angel. No wonder Mary was called “highly favored”. She had a quiet spirit full of faith. She received the task without much question. She believed the ‘Word’ even if it was beyond her imagination.

On January 1^st, I left my parents house (despite my mother’s insistent declaration that the holidays are NOT YET over) and went back to my ‘cocoon’. For many years now, it has become my practice to commit the first day of each year to prayer and fasting. It is amazing how much my wonder of God grows when I list down what He has done for me the past year. This year, I made a list again that led me to a “Mary Moment” –

 Luke 2:19 “ …Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”

 I don’t know what is ahead of me in 2013, the same way that I never guessed what God  did for me in 2012. But, as my list testified, He has something for me that is way beyond my imagination. I pray for a quiet spirit of faith as I wait in hopeful anticipation.

Luke 1:38 “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.”…

 

Picking up one of the kids during our Christmas Outreach Party

  Have A Hopeful 2013!!! 

Sisters Act

My sister Jemima had just passed the Licensure exam for teachers. The Lord has granted her favor. When I called my mother to congratulate her for my sister's success, we laughed about how that puts pressure on me being the older sister. 

Jemima's Graduation from her Bachelor's Degree in Secondary Education

Jemima's academic journey has amused us (to the extent of being hilarious). She went to the University of the Philippines for her Bachelor's degree in Psychology. After surviving it, (yes, you read it right. they say one doesnt graduate from UP, he/she survives) she swore never to go to school again. Today, she has two degrees in her resume. And can sleep better. (It was torture for her to wait for months to know the results.)

We have a younger sister, Jezrel, who is a nurse. Lately, we were entertained by the old photos of her that our Aunt posted on Facebook. She used to be pudgy and had satiated her childhood days with fun. Once, i cried when I heard Taylor Swift's 'Never Grow Up' because I missed the times when she was still a kid. I think older sisters will always wish the younger ones would remain as they are. 

When Jezrel was 4 ...and 23 :) 

You asked me how high airplanes fly

If I could bottle the clouds

And bring it home to dry

You walked around in a Big t-shirt

With a stick for a staff

Followed by kids like ducks

You played football

With the wall

Danced to Backstreet Boys

In the hall

You chose trucks

Over Barbies

Dynamos

Over dresses

And Bananas in Pajamas

On any given day

At eleven

You fell in love with Jars of Clay.

(I bend my knees

For them to have similar days)  

August Rushed, September Ends

Stumbling upon Jayesslee’s cover of “TheChristmas Song”, I immediately counted with my fingers the months left before Christmas. Its almost here! Where did the months go?

Seeing the same photo on my blog reminded me I needed to do a post. Seeing the title of my last post, I laughed! Seeing the date it was posted, I am embarrassed.

August rushed and now, September is ending.

I am thankful for how God excitingly carries me through each month. The job here at CBBC is not something I can take lightly. But amazingly, it doesn’t feel heavy either. I enjoy spending time with the young men and women who are preparing themselves to be future pastors. From painting nails, to swimming, to slingshot-ing dogs, to endless, pointless conversations, to meaningful short talks, to kitchen and laundry conversations – every opportunity with them is always of value.  

That, my friends, is the reason why I didn’t notice the two months breezing by.

God is faithful! I don’t deserve his faithfulness, yet He remains constant. 

BRINGING in the SHEAVES!
One hot August afternoon during a trip
we took to dedicate a rice field to God. 

Writer's Block? Not Really...

Sometimes, writer’s block gets you and there is nothing that you can do except to open a blank page, type away words without really having the slightest idea where you are going with them. Such is my case now. But, having just typed that, I have now decided what I want to write about: Inspiration.

Poetry was my turf. I think it still is. However, I try my best with prose for variety. No, not only variety. Poetry, to me, involves too much emotionality that sometimes, I do not have the budget for it. By that I mean, there are some things I purposely shove to the sides because I just don’t have the energy to cater to such emotions ( or the feelings they may bring me in the future). For example, anger, frustration and loneliness are best written in poems but they are too heavy that I know after writing them down, I would feel even worse.

On the other end, when my fickle heart starts to like someone romantically, or at the brink of liking someone (yes, there is such phase), words travel faster from my heart to my fingers. But once I have typed away a poem, I’d feel bad for writing about that person who might not even have time to think about me. And I’d secretly feel embarrassed and eventually hate myself for it. Ok, hate is too strong a word, but you know what I mean, right?

So that is why sometimes, I have the writer’s block. Or, maybe it is not really writer’s block. It’s lack of courage to confront what one feels and be responsible about it.

Then, what inspires me?

Lately, my job! Aside from being the registrar, I am the school secretary. I never knew until now that I love writing business letters. That and some other ‘secretary’ write-ups are what, I discovered, I love to write. Plus, my immediate superior (my boss)  is a stickler for correct English and is precise in what he wants to read from what I write. I appreciate that he checks and edits what I write. This way, I grow in my writing.  

Lately, the thrill of being with other believers. I have noticed that in the past few months, I have talked about my experiences in fellowship. Fire is something you can’t ignore. Most times, I go for days still warmed up from such meetings. I can’t help but write about them.

Lately, my experiences with the Lord. I take that back. They have always inspired me. God constantly brings me to the edge of faith where I need to choose to keep believing in Him, in His promises, in His Jeremiah 29:11-plan. The Bible talks about us going through many things so that we could be a blessing to those who are going through similar things ( 2 Cor 1:4). 

Lately, an ‘excitement’. The kind that I don’t need to write a poem for. The kind that wakes me up before my alarm clock does. The kind I find at my doorstep in the morning. The kind that makes me sing at night.

And lately, this: 

Dr. R. Kole's Garden

This is not the best garden in the world but this is where I have my special talks with God. And these moments inspire me. 

I pray that everyday you will find inspiration. God is the giver of all good things. Ask! :)

A Love Letter

Dear you,


It is a Friday night. I only see dark outside my window.And then, in my effort to recount the weeks that went by, you crossed my mind. 

Since I got here, you constantly visit my morning thoughts. I had imagined what it would be like being here but nothing prepared me for you. I had written many unsent letters but I never thought I would be writing you.  Indeed, things happen when you least expect them. I like how God puts humor in my life!

From that day I figured out how your schedule works, I knew there would be no escaping you. I tried. I tried walking to work at different times just so our paths would not cross. But, by some unexplainable phenomena, you’d always appear in my horizon. I also tried walking fast to the point of running when I see you a few meters away, but, to no avail. You’d always be faster than me and your presence would always brush me by.

And you know what’s the hardest thing about seeing you every day? You leave your scent in the air and sometimes, I am afraid, I’m catching it. You have no idea how it feels to walk into the office, with flushed cheeks, panting (from fruitlessly trying to avoid you), and, smelling like you!

However, because I know this must be one of God’s ways of training me to hold my emotions, I have resolved to be quiet about it. Though, honestly, I have ranted about you to a few.  Everyday, I catch my heart wishing you’d not appear but my mind tells me you will. And everyday, you do. Consistency defines you. Lately, I catch myself laughing inside when I see you from a far. I wish I could describe how much of God’s humor I am seeing.

I am convinced it would take a miracle to ‘not see you’ everyday.

That, or a re-routing.

Dear  Heaping-Bacolod City-Garbage-Truck, you inspired this post!

Heaping like this!!!! source from here

~ x~

I praise God for how he has gifted me to find humor and amusement in uncomfortable situations. This every day meet-up with the Garbage Truck that unforgivably leaves an unforgivable odor that my clothes catch was an everyday irritation. Lately, I have learned to live with it. 

This thought struck me: Somewhere in the world, that smell is home to many people.

Beauty in Silence

May breezed through. Fast. I did not even have the chance to write about the Super Moon. I have a fascination with the moon and everything that lights up the night sky.  Psalm 19: 1-4 says

The full moon in Roxas City, Capiz. Taken in October of 2009.

The heavens declare the glory of God; 

the skies proclaim the work of his hands. 

Day after day they pour forth speech;

night after night they reveal knowledge.  

They have no speech, they use no words;

no sound is heard from them. 

Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,

their words to the ends of the world... 

What beauty they have!!! No words, yet they resound the Lord's glory down to the crevices of this fallen world. If only half of that beauty can be ascribed to me, I  would have already lived a life worthy of my maker. 

No speech. No words. No Sound! How powerful!!! Oh, the beauty that silence magnifies!

It is silence that reveals how much peace we hold in our hearts. It is when God is silent that we reveal how much of our heart is really surrendered to Him. 

In the month that went by, I had my quiet moments with God. It is amazing (and embarrassing at the same time) - the things he brings to my attention! I now live in the school compound where most nights are spent listening to the crickets and the startling sounds of mangoes falling on the roof. My mind wanders between scary thoughts and how I hate sleeping alone. Thankfully, I doze off to the thoughts of "I am with you always" on repeat. 

God is encouraging me in my job. I am surprised at how much I could learn new things, new protocols, new routines! Indeed, when God calls you, He will enable you. I have a wonderful team of co-workers too. And well, entertainment is out of question --- we  have three adorable kids living in the same compound! 

Tomorrow is the first day of our academic year. As I am writing this paragraph, I can hear the chatter and the laugh-screams of the girls above my room. ( I am housed in a small room on the ground floor of the dormitory.) That, alternated with the croaking of the frogs. Silence is slowly becoming a luxury. 

~ x ~

Here are some scenes in my new 'home'. 

The school building that houses the library and classrooms.

That 'rocky road' from the building you see on top to the dorms.

Three of the men who are training to be pastors. Happy, aren't they?

The usual afternoon feast of sour mangoes under the, well, mango tree :D


Again, thank you for including me in your prayers. The Lord bless you! :D