Wednesday, May 11, 2011

To Feel Right

The Lord knows how many times I have written and re-written this post. I know you know how it feels to want to put out something for people to read, and then, when it is done, you have this tugging conviction that it isn't exactly what the Lord wants you to write. 

There were personal struggles that the lord help me fought with recently. But I guess, no struggle is too hard to fight as that of the struggle to FEEL RIGHT. By that I mean, wanting to have the right emotions for and about circumstances and people. 

I came to a point when I asked God to explain to me why such things were happening. I questioned Him about the necessity of such experiences. Pain is something you can not dismiss as normal. Most times, this is what God uses to call our attention.And in moments of pain, there happens a battle between the Spirit and the flesh.

Pride indeed, goes before destruction. When you begin to think about yourself, how much pain you go through and how much of this pain you think you don't need, that's when the flesh twitches, hungry for revenge. And we all know, when the flesh operates, you struggle in vain.

Forgiveness is from the Spirit. The flesh on the other hand tells you you don't need to forgive, just forget about it. So,you struggle to forget.

Love is of the Spirit. The flesh on the other hand tells you there's no need for love, just be indifferent. So, you struggle to not care.

Joy is of the Spirit. The flesh on the other hand tells you there's no need for joy, just feel good. So, you struggle to not be sad.

To bless the source of your pain can be done only through the Spirit. The flesh on the other hand tells you there's no need for it, you just need to be OK with it. So, you struggle to feel OK about it. 

And just like the song that goes "Just the time I feel that I've been caught in the mire of 
self", God's word came to me through a woman named Joni Eareckson Tada.

I read Joni Eareckson's story on Guidepost when I was 11 or 12. My father made me read it.She met an accident at 17 and became quadriplegic since. Her stories made me wonder 
about how it would feel like to not move. Back then, it was her capacity to survive that I 

Finding her testimonies again on You Tube now that she's old and grey gave me a different insight. It is no longer her survival that awed me. It is her capacity to look at misery with 
joy. That, i say, is something that is only done through the Spirit. And she quoted an oh-so-familiar verse that she said was the first verse that spoke to her after the accident : 

1 Thessalonians 5:18 "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will for you in Christ Jesus"

I knew right then, that was my Word. Then she went on to sing an old song that says: 

"Farther along we'll know all about it. 
Farther along we'll understand why 
Cheer up my brother, live in the sunshine
We'll understand it, oh, by and by"

So, I no longer ask why, but i keep giving thanks.Amazingly, I no longer struggle to feel right.

I think right.

Praise the name of Jesus!!!

P.S. Updates of the BLESS Program next week. Graduation is this Saturday, please keep us in your prayers. Also, my visa application was delayed due to the unrest in BF. Will process next week, can you help me pray? Thanks :D