No, I Am Not Employed

I used to work 8-5, sometimes beyond 5, and called myself an employee. That’s because I got paid for my hours, although, what I was doing was something I love: Be with children everyday. After leaving that job, to go full-time in ministry (please allow me to use the word full-time on these terms), I find myself busier than when I was employed. No, my job is no longer 8-5. Its FULL-TIME.

If by employee, you mean, you work with a boss, you work for an institution, and you get paid, then I can call myself one. I work with THE Boss. I work for THE Kingdom. And I get paid MORE than what I deserve. (not necessarily on a flat-rate, twice-a-month basis)

While waiting for my deployment, to Only-God-Knows-Where (and I seriously mean that), I see to it that I keep myself busy. And busy is what I am. I pride myself that I am busy with ministry, doing this and that ‘for the Lord’. Volunteering in church, taking every opportunity to equip other Christians, tell stories to kids, all in the name of Ministry. I get a certain kind of adrenalin when I am ‘booked’.

I felt good about myself.

Not until God dealt with me. The conference I attended was a Divine Appointment.  As I mentioned, going to Singapore never crossed my mind. I never heard of the IDMC conference until the day my friend told me about it. But when we were there, I knew, God wanted us to be there. (I was even more convinced when, a few minutes after the promotion for the next year’s conference, the slots were ALL booked. That’s how ‘hot’ it was…and how impossible to get a ticket. How we got the tickets this year is a long story that can be summarized in one word: Miracle)

God spoke to me about my intimacy with Him. How, in my efforts to get busy, I am no longer aligned to Him. No wonder, sometimes, the work gets tiring, the labor is fruitless.  I forgot what David’s sole desire was:

Psalm 27:4 One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. 

David just wanted to seek God’s presence, to be in His presence, to enjoy looking at Him and to inquire what He has in mind. It’s all about HIM. No wonder, David is called, a man after God’s own heart.

Activity replaced my Affection. Routine overshadowed the Reason. Guilty.

God also convicted me of my mindset. You see, when people ask me what I do, I tell them “Oh, I volunteer at church, I do this and that…” I give them an array of all these seemingly ‘good’ things I do. Little did I know that deep within my heart is a motive : To let them know I am ACTUALLY Doing something.  See, I made what I do now a replacement of what I used to do.

No, that shouldn’t be. What I do now is supposed to be a response to God’s call. God’s specific call for me to fulfill His specific purpose for me. We are all called to a purpose. That purpose is to Glorify Him . And our purpose does not necessarily require a ‘doing’. Our purpose requires a ‘being’. Take for example Lazarus. He didn’t have to do anything, He just had to be dead!!!

I realized it is not what we do that constitutes God’s purpose for us. It is what we are that reveals whether we are being obedient to Him or not. 

Intimacy precedes Ministry. ‘Being’ precedes ‘Doing’.

So, are you going to ask me what I am doing now?

No, I am not employed.

Here are two of my favorite songs from Avalon. They sing a whole lot about what is in my heart.

SG: Singapore Grace

A few months ago, I got a call from a friend telling me about the "Intentional Discipleship Making Conference 2011" in Singapore. She asked if I wanted to go. Before I could even answer, she volunteered to sponsor the whole trip.

Singapore is not on top of my 'Places-I-Want-To-Go-To' List. I could not afford even just a one-way ticket to Singapore. But, God wanted me to go so there I was, last September 1-4, strutting cruising the railways of this first world country. 

Considering that I come from a third world country, not to mention that I live in a third class city, I grew wide-eyed at almost everything. Not that I have never seen tall buildings. I have. I just had this sense of wonder at things. 

The Conference was amazing. It was a blessing to hear Rev. Edmund Chan. The anointing was evident. God's glory overflowed. It was a great time of introspection and re-aligning of our inner lives. It was awesome to witness God rain down His truth to us, rebuking and restoring us at the same time. 

As I mentioned, I couldnt afford this trip, I never had plans of visiting, but I so wanted to eat Indian Cuisine,  my best cousin-friend, Sherl, happens to work there, and God wanted to SHOW me SOMETHING. Thus, I call this trip, Singapore Grace.

Taking the Scenic Route

A Date with My Gravity ( Sherl )

Gastronomic Delights: African Read Tea, Spicy Sting Ray, Eggs Benedict,
La Mian with  Minced Chicken and the $1 Ice Cream. 

Pratta and Mutton. I ate it for THREE straight days! hahaha!

Covenant Evangelical Free Church and my Conference companions,
Emily, Gervilyn, Isis and Fred

Traversing the Streets..and the MTR

Icing on the cake:  Lion King Experience. Awesome, Awesome show!!!!

Responsible Parenthood?!

RESPONSIBLE Parenthood?!

I think there is redundancy in that phrase. I believe that you can not be called a parent if you are not responsible. However, in this generation, I have witnessed painted pains because some people just enjoyed the baby-making part and didn't want to have anything to do with child-rearing.

Lately, I conducted a workshop on Storytelling to Compassion teachers and volunteers. I've always been passionate about Storytelling and I make it my mission to spread the secrets of the craft, tell unforgettable stories and make other people yearn to be storytellers themselves. That's my answer to the call in Romans 10:17 "So then faith comes by hearing...". This way we can saturate this world with the wonderful story of salvation. That is my main goal.

In addition to that, I see that by storytelling we train our kids to be responsible. See, storytelling (with minimal or no props)  gets their minds working; they imagine, analyze, decide. That is how we want our kids to be when they grow up - men and women who will be creative enough to find solutions, to analyze situations and then decide and take ownership of the decision. When we raise them that way, that's responsible parenthood.

I am not a parent but I desire to be one someday. I don't have kids but i have worked with kids for many years. I discovered that parenthood, though it is a lot of work, is actually just mastering the simple stuff that make up the bigger stuff. Like, if I want my kids to grow up organized, I just need to let them be comfortable with following systems and procedures.

When coming in from school, (1) take off your shoes (2) put them on the rack (3) put soiled socks in the bin. A three-step system is not complicated but once they mastered it, you can build on it the 'big' chunks of your daily work that usually stresses you. That is why again, I have considered storytelling as essential. It is a fun, no stress activity, yet the benefits are long term. That's IF, you take your storytelling session seriously.

Our parents :)

Maybe I'm idealistic. Or maybe, I have just been around people who sunk at parenthood. Or maybe, I just appreciated very much the way our parents raised us (3 girls). No, we didnt always have a clean living room, or bedroom. Yes, we did pressure our parents to 'save' us because we needed to submit a dollhouse project the NEXT DAY!!! But, NO, we never tiptoed around the house, we never mixed fresh school uniforms with sweaty PE shirts and we never heard our parents sigh when we asked them questions. Yes, my mother is a worrier and complains a lot but in all her complaining, not one bit did we hint that it was about raising us, THREE Girls. No, not even a hint of worry that we'd come home pregnant! (By God's grace no one has and will remain that way!)

And here's what I think are the essentials to parenthood:

1. A deep commitment to Christ - No order is possible without Him at the center
2. A deep commitment to each other - No one should bail out
3. A deep commitment to joy - No one should say it is missing

Those three things are core to parenthood. The rest just stems from them. Being a parent is a gift. I don't think we cannot refuse that gift when given to us. So, "Let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up." Galatians 6:9 (NLT)


*Note: I recently am on the 30-Day Blogging Challenge with my other blog A November Miracle. Ha!!! this is my second day and I was to write about something I feel strongly about. Here's the first thing that came to mind. I thought I'd share it with the readers of this blog.

When We Wait

Thank you for waiting. Finally, a post! *big smile*

Waiting is a theme that is hard to write about. Scratch that. It is easy to write about but hard to live through. It’s an active – passive activity that requires a lot of patience. In fact, to make waiting legitimate, PATIENCE is the only requirement. If your fuse burns, you stop. Then, waiting is terminated.

If you wait, however, you get the reward for waiting. What’s the reward? The exact thing you’ve stood in the line waiting for!!!

The coffee needs a few minutes to brew. Instant coffee never, never tastes like the freshest brew.

The caterpillar needs to cocoon before it becomes a butterfly. Butterflies look better than cocoons.

A mother waits for 9 months to birth a baby. Nothing is more beautiful than a new born baby.

Recently, I had an experience of waiting for two and a half hours outside of YakiMix, a restaurant, to be seated. Why, it served the best Japanese Eat-All-You-Can in the country!!! There were of course some restaurants nearby, but my companions and I waited. I tell you, I had the most unforgettable sushi experience that night! Imagine if we walked away after seeing that we were 32^nd on the list of reservations?

A photo I took of them last week :)

Last week, I had a great time with my cousin, Sherl and her fiancé. They were beautiful to watch.  Sherl is a happy woman. A few years back, she started cross stitching a design on a cloth, which to us meant that she was happily resolved to being single. (You know, that "sewing-on-a-rocking-chair-with-a cat-by-her-foot" scenario!) And then HE came! She told me, she has no reservations about splurging for her honeymoon because she waited…THEY waited. In November, everyone in the family is coming home to witness their union. Imagine if she whined when she was single, or ran off with the first guy who was ready to prey on her singleness?

I only have one hobby I am having a hard time controlling – rummaging through second-hand book stores! I failed again yesterday. Well, almost! I’d like to believe buying THAT book was the right thing to do. You see, ten years ago, there was one book I visited very often at the bookstore and never had the chance nor the money to get it. It costed more than a student could afford. At least, the student that I was. It was DC Talk’s Jesus Freaks. I was also then, very much of a DC Talk fan, thus, the desire for the book.  Yesterday, it laid on the corner of the bookstore, about 90% cheaper than its original price!!! Second thinking was not my option. I bought it, with a very wide grin at the cashier! Same words, same power, same stories…just at the right time! Imagine, if I insisted on getting it at that particular time ten years ago?

Jesus Freaks!!! Ayomide Akinkugbe will hate me for posting this! haha!

Waiting outside Yakimix with an angry stomach and the lure of the Indian Resto beside was not enjoyable. For Sherl, cross stitching and waiting on God to send her man was slow paced. The "rocking chair" kept her moving but got her nowhere. Well, waiting for the book was not that of a big deal…I never even thought I’d come across it again!

But, if we walked away from YakiMix, if Sherl pitied herself, if I got the book despite my finances, then this post would not be here. ( God knew I’d be writing this…I see Him laughing in amusement now! )

When we wait for the things we can hardly wait for, we build the appreciation for their worth and the capacity to have them for a very long time.

Yeah, I ate Maki for what felt like 2 hours!

The YakiMix Smiles. That's Mark, Eirene and I :)

I suggest Francesca Battistelli's "Hundred More Years". Kinda like what I am saying. Enjoying at at the moment :)

p.s. Thanks for the encouragement Sir LDP!!! 

A BLESSed Affair

This is long due post but I'm posting the pictures anyway! God worked miraculously in the lives of the 9 children we had at our center for 6 months. They are now enrolled in public elementary schools. May God continue to make them shine.

Our graduation was last May 14, 2011. I know, this is a very very late post. But hey, God's goodness should be retold. God's goodness is always good news..it never become late news. Enjoy the photos. Thank you for your support, prayers. I continue to be encouraged!

Wonderful Smiles, arent they? The blue shirts are from my friend, Jumoke :)

Add caption

Zoren gave them a reading :)

Above: With Ma'am Arlene  and Gladys, my Assistant; Below, with Church Elders

Above: With their happy parents; Below, with the volunteers and Church Elders

Praise God for His work and for the JOY it brought to everyone who took part in the ministry. We are starting a new batch in November. Praying again for God's hand on it. 

Soli Deo Gloria!!!!

Untitled: A Love Letter to a Friend

(These hands are REALLY mine.. hehehe)

In the privacy of this note

I pour into you my heart

So no one would see

And suspect this is just another art

I hold the candle

That will light both our ways

whichever the paths lead

let’s tread

to the unseen tomorrow

to future fights

to our sweet moments

to the merging of our likes

to loving each other’s “loves”

to breaking each other’s hearts

to charting each other’s place

to someday touching each other’s face

to singing same songs

to writing pointless poems

to celebrating lives

to weeping days

to surviving disappointments

to finding true love

to passing on to generations

            the story of us

to a friendship made beautiful

            by color, by age, by language, by space

I hold the candle you have placed in my hand

As we wander this forever changing land

Our Master-Igniter, promising fire all throughout

We will stay lighted without a doubt

I will be your life-long friend

I promise to trust you until we reach our end

If not on this earth, then in heaven we will meet

be blinded by His glory, while we sit at His feet.

-March 2, 2009

*Note: This was a private poem I wrote to my friend. I decided to Put it up because I recently went through 'friendship tests' with those people around me i call friends. This is also a proof that friendships aren't perfect, that we make vows we can't keep, but we still love anyway.

 I faltered as a friend in so may ways. But, because we are both in the same 'Kingdom', we will always find each other at the the King's feet. 

To Feel Right

The Lord knows how many times I have written and re-written this post. I know you know how it feels to want to put out something for people to read, and then, when it is done, you have this tugging conviction that it isn't exactly what the Lord wants you to write. 

There were personal struggles that the lord help me fought with recently. But I guess, no struggle is too hard to fight as that of the struggle to FEEL RIGHT. By that I mean, wanting to have the right emotions for and about circumstances and people. 

I came to a point when I asked God to explain to me why such things were happening. I questioned Him about the necessity of such experiences. Pain is something you can not dismiss as normal. Most times, this is what God uses to call our attention.And in moments of pain, there happens a battle between the Spirit and the flesh.

Pride indeed, goes before destruction. When you begin to think about yourself, how much pain you go through and how much of this pain you think you don't need, that's when the flesh twitches, hungry for revenge. And we all know, when the flesh operates, you struggle in vain.

Forgiveness is from the Spirit. The flesh on the other hand tells you you don't need to forgive, just forget about it. So,you struggle to forget.

Love is of the Spirit. The flesh on the other hand tells you there's no need for love, just be indifferent. So, you struggle to not care.

Joy is of the Spirit. The flesh on the other hand tells you there's no need for joy, just feel good. So, you struggle to not be sad.

To bless the source of your pain can be done only through the Spirit. The flesh on the other hand tells you there's no need for it, you just need to be OK with it. So, you struggle to feel OK about it. 

And just like the song that goes "Just the time I feel that I've been caught in the mire of 

self", God's word came to me through a woman named Joni Eareckson Tada.

I read Joni Eareckson's story on Guidepost when I was 11 or 12. My father made me read it.She met an accident at 17 and became quadriplegic since. Her stories made me wonder 

about how it would feel like to not move. Back then, it was her capacity to survive that I 

admired. 

Finding her testimonies again on You Tube now that she's old and grey gave me a different insight. It is no longer her survival that awed me. It is her capacity to look at misery with 

joy. That, i say, is something that is only done through the Spirit. And she quoted an oh-so-familiar verse that she said was the first verse that spoke to her after the accident : 

1 Thessalonians 5:18 "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will for you in Christ Jesus"

I knew right then, that was my Word. Then she went on to sing an old song that says: 

"Farther along we'll know all about it. 

Farther along we'll understand why 

Cheer up my brother, live in the sunshine

We'll understand it, oh, by and by"

So, I no longer ask why, but i keep giving thanks.Amazingly, I no longer struggle to feel right.

I think right.

Praise the name of Jesus!!!

P.S. Updates of the BLESS Program next week. Graduation is this Saturday, please keep us in your prayers. Also, my visa application was delayed due to the unrest in BF. Will process next week, can you help me pray? Thanks :D