I will always thank God for March 2.
When I opened my first blog, Venus Speaks, I wrote mostly about romantic love, a theme I have not given much attention in this blog. The blog ran for 3 years, until I had to take it down for some very childish reasons (which I now obviously regret.haha!). Every single year, in that blog, I’d put up a post titled “I Will Always Thank God for March 2”.
In early 2007, my heart got broken. I thought I wouldn’t survive (we all think we wouldn’t, right?). But, one wonderful afternoon in March, 2nd to be exact, while shedding a pool of tears, God came down and touched me. I was healed, and never cried again for the same reason. Oh, the reason my heart was broken was, the man I was in love with chose someone over me. Well, technically, I chose for him because I was the one who walked out of the relationship. Ok, ok! I will put it simply (*swallows pride*) : He fell in love with someone else…while still in a relationship with me.
This plot is not unique to me. This happens to many people too. Some survive and come out of the heartbreak better, some sadly watch their own lives waste away. Some curse love, others discover another meaning to it. Some come out scared, others, braver. I am the latter. And a little later, bravery met its match.
I fell in love again. And, well, got my heart broken. Again. This time, (*swallows shame*) out of confusion.
I also do not own this plot. Many hearts get broken out of confusion. Some choose to remain confused ‘in the name of love’, others, just snap out of it fast. I am the latter. Ok, that’s a lie. I cried a
lot few times. Truth is, no matter how much you ‘pad’
yourself, you can never be ready for a heartbreak. But, I eventually got over
it. The saying is true: Time wounds all that is healed…and well, heals all that
it wounds. Haha, I made that up. I have a better reason.
I decided to write the part where I got heart broken again, though not in details, to prove a point. In this world, we don’t have immunity to pain. And the measure of your faith is tested everytime it hits you. But more that that, the measure of God’s love is manifested everytime it happens.
Some people have sworn off love because of the countless heartbreaks. But I testify that every after each heartbreak, my idea of love becomes more real and my view of God becomes bigger.
In February, I spoke to a few youth groups about Love. And when these young people asked me questions about their romantic relationships, I was all the more convinced that all my experiences in romance have a purpose. I had an opportunity to shape their thinking about love and pain. It was also a chance to comfort them and tell them how real God is. At the end of each talk, I waved a hand to heaven and asked, “So this is what these were all about?”
|At Pinasahi Evangelical Church|
|Circuit John Youth Rally|
1 Corinthians 1;3-4 say, “Praise be to God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the father of compassion and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
When someone comes to me with a broken heart, I can always say, “It’s gonna be ok.” And I can say it with utmost certainty for indeed, after countless heartbreaks of varying degree, I AM OK!
Today, March 2, I am single and still thankful.
And yes, I am ready to love. Again.
Or, am I already? ;)