Sisters Act

My sister Jemima had just passed the Licensure exam for teachers. The Lord has granted her favor. When I called my mother to congratulate her for my sister's success, we laughed about how that puts pressure on me being the older sister. 

Jemima's Graduation from her Bachelor's Degree in Secondary Education

Jemima's academic journey has amused us (to the extent of being hilarious). She went to the University of the Philippines for her Bachelor's degree in Psychology. After surviving it, (yes, you read it right. they say one doesnt graduate from UP, he/she survives) she swore never to go to school again. Today, she has two degrees in her resume. And can sleep better. (It was torture for her to wait for months to know the results.)

We have a younger sister, Jezrel, who is a nurse. Lately, we were entertained by the old photos of her that our Aunt posted on Facebook. She used to be pudgy and had satiated her childhood days with fun. Once, i cried when I heard Taylor Swift's 'Never Grow Up' because I missed the times when she was still a kid. I think older sisters will always wish the younger ones would remain as they are. 

When Jezrel was 4 ...and 23 :) 

You asked me how high airplanes fly

If I could bottle the clouds

And bring it home to dry

You walked around in a Big t-shirt

With a stick for a staff

Followed by kids like ducks

You played football

With the wall

Danced to Backstreet Boys

In the hall

You chose trucks

Over Barbies

Dynamos

Over dresses

And Bananas in Pajamas

On any given day

At eleven

You fell in love with Jars of Clay.

(I bend my knees

For them to have similar days)  

August Rushed, September Ends

Stumbling upon Jayesslee’s cover of “TheChristmas Song”, I immediately counted with my fingers the months left before Christmas. Its almost here! Where did the months go?

Seeing the same photo on my blog reminded me I needed to do a post. Seeing the title of my last post, I laughed! Seeing the date it was posted, I am embarrassed.

August rushed and now, September is ending.

I am thankful for how God excitingly carries me through each month. The job here at CBBC is not something I can take lightly. But amazingly, it doesn’t feel heavy either. I enjoy spending time with the young men and women who are preparing themselves to be future pastors. From painting nails, to swimming, to slingshot-ing dogs, to endless, pointless conversations, to meaningful short talks, to kitchen and laundry conversations – every opportunity with them is always of value.  

That, my friends, is the reason why I didn’t notice the two months breezing by.

God is faithful! I don’t deserve his faithfulness, yet He remains constant. 

BRINGING in the SHEAVES!
One hot August afternoon during a trip
we took to dedicate a rice field to God. 

Writer's Block? Not Really...

Sometimes, writer’s block gets you and there is nothing that you can do except to open a blank page, type away words without really having the slightest idea where you are going with them. Such is my case now. But, having just typed that, I have now decided what I want to write about: Inspiration.

Poetry was my turf. I think it still is. However, I try my best with prose for variety. No, not only variety. Poetry, to me, involves too much emotionality that sometimes, I do not have the budget for it. By that I mean, there are some things I purposely shove to the sides because I just don’t have the energy to cater to such emotions ( or the feelings they may bring me in the future). For example, anger, frustration and loneliness are best written in poems but they are too heavy that I know after writing them down, I would feel even worse.

On the other end, when my fickle heart starts to like someone romantically, or at the brink of liking someone (yes, there is such phase), words travel faster from my heart to my fingers. But once I have typed away a poem, I’d feel bad for writing about that person who might not even have time to think about me. And I’d secretly feel embarrassed and eventually hate myself for it. Ok, hate is too strong a word, but you know what I mean, right?

So that is why sometimes, I have the writer’s block. Or, maybe it is not really writer’s block. It’s lack of courage to confront what one feels and be responsible about it.

Then, what inspires me?

Lately, my job! Aside from being the registrar, I am the school secretary. I never knew until now that I love writing business letters. That and some other ‘secretary’ write-ups are what, I discovered, I love to write. Plus, my immediate superior (my boss)  is a stickler for correct English and is precise in what he wants to read from what I write. I appreciate that he checks and edits what I write. This way, I grow in my writing.  

Lately, the thrill of being with other believers. I have noticed that in the past few months, I have talked about my experiences in fellowship. Fire is something you can’t ignore. Most times, I go for days still warmed up from such meetings. I can’t help but write about them.

Lately, my experiences with the Lord. I take that back. They have always inspired me. God constantly brings me to the edge of faith where I need to choose to keep believing in Him, in His promises, in His Jeremiah 29:11-plan. The Bible talks about us going through many things so that we could be a blessing to those who are going through similar things ( 2 Cor 1:4). 

Lately, an ‘excitement’. The kind that I don’t need to write a poem for. The kind that wakes me up before my alarm clock does. The kind I find at my doorstep in the morning. The kind that makes me sing at night.

And lately, this: 

Dr. R. Kole's Garden

This is not the best garden in the world but this is where I have my special talks with God. And these moments inspire me. 

I pray that everyday you will find inspiration. God is the giver of all good things. Ask! :)

A Love Letter

Dear you,


It is a Friday night. I only see dark outside my window.And then, in my effort to recount the weeks that went by, you crossed my mind. 

Since I got here, you constantly visit my morning thoughts. I had imagined what it would be like being here but nothing prepared me for you. I had written many unsent letters but I never thought I would be writing you.  Indeed, things happen when you least expect them. I like how God puts humor in my life!

From that day I figured out how your schedule works, I knew there would be no escaping you. I tried. I tried walking to work at different times just so our paths would not cross. But, by some unexplainable phenomena, you’d always appear in my horizon. I also tried walking fast to the point of running when I see you a few meters away, but, to no avail. You’d always be faster than me and your presence would always brush me by.

And you know what’s the hardest thing about seeing you every day? You leave your scent in the air and sometimes, I am afraid, I’m catching it. You have no idea how it feels to walk into the office, with flushed cheeks, panting (from fruitlessly trying to avoid you), and, smelling like you!

However, because I know this must be one of God’s ways of training me to hold my emotions, I have resolved to be quiet about it. Though, honestly, I have ranted about you to a few.  Everyday, I catch my heart wishing you’d not appear but my mind tells me you will. And everyday, you do. Consistency defines you. Lately, I catch myself laughing inside when I see you from a far. I wish I could describe how much of God’s humor I am seeing.

I am convinced it would take a miracle to ‘not see you’ everyday.

That, or a re-routing.

Dear  Heaping-Bacolod City-Garbage-Truck, you inspired this post!

Heaping like this!!!! source from here

~ x~

I praise God for how he has gifted me to find humor and amusement in uncomfortable situations. This every day meet-up with the Garbage Truck that unforgivably leaves an unforgivable odor that my clothes catch was an everyday irritation. Lately, I have learned to live with it. 

This thought struck me: Somewhere in the world, that smell is home to many people.

Beauty in Silence

May breezed through. Fast. I did not even have the chance to write about the Super Moon. I have a fascination with the moon and everything that lights up the night sky.  Psalm 19: 1-4 says

The full moon in Roxas City, Capiz. Taken in October of 2009.

The heavens declare the glory of God; 

the skies proclaim the work of his hands. 

Day after day they pour forth speech;

night after night they reveal knowledge.  

They have no speech, they use no words;

no sound is heard from them. 

Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,

their words to the ends of the world... 

What beauty they have!!! No words, yet they resound the Lord's glory down to the crevices of this fallen world. If only half of that beauty can be ascribed to me, I  would have already lived a life worthy of my maker. 

No speech. No words. No Sound! How powerful!!! Oh, the beauty that silence magnifies!

It is silence that reveals how much peace we hold in our hearts. It is when God is silent that we reveal how much of our heart is really surrendered to Him. 

In the month that went by, I had my quiet moments with God. It is amazing (and embarrassing at the same time) - the things he brings to my attention! I now live in the school compound where most nights are spent listening to the crickets and the startling sounds of mangoes falling on the roof. My mind wanders between scary thoughts and how I hate sleeping alone. Thankfully, I doze off to the thoughts of "I am with you always" on repeat. 

God is encouraging me in my job. I am surprised at how much I could learn new things, new protocols, new routines! Indeed, when God calls you, He will enable you. I have a wonderful team of co-workers too. And well, entertainment is out of question --- we  have three adorable kids living in the same compound! 

Tomorrow is the first day of our academic year. As I am writing this paragraph, I can hear the chatter and the laugh-screams of the girls above my room. ( I am housed in a small room on the ground floor of the dormitory.) That, alternated with the croaking of the frogs. Silence is slowly becoming a luxury. 

~ x ~

Here are some scenes in my new 'home'. 

The school building that houses the library and classrooms.

That 'rocky road' from the building you see on top to the dorms.

Three of the men who are training to be pastors. Happy, aren't they?

The usual afternoon feast of sour mangoes under the, well, mango tree :D


Again, thank you for including me in your prayers. The Lord bless you! :D

Friends: We Call Ourselves That (The Friendship Series)

I knew something was going on. The class was a little restless, our teacher was unusually excited and strangers went in and out of the classroom bringing boxes and food containers. When the cake came in, I realized someone was celebrating hi/ her birthday. When one is four years old, you seldom remember other people’s birthday. That day, I found out, it was Era Joy’s my best friend’s.

Era Joy's 5th Birthday in Nursery class

She came in to class in a pretty pink dress while the rest of us were in our uniforms. I don’t remember if we like each other but I remember very well that we often say ‘miga ko na sya’ (she’s my friend) when asked about each other. We were in Kindergarten School then and who you call your friends matter. I just knew I had someone nice to call my friend.

*************

The old lady with swept up hair and thick glasses gave me a newsprint booklet with colorless pictures. I ran my fingers on them while taking glances at the other seven-year olds who were excited to take the test. If we passed, we can enroll in the first grade in elementary.

Suddenly, the short-haired girl beside me pointed at the picture, “ That’s the answer” she said in a condescending voice. I looked at her and sarcastically replied, “Kabalo ko!” (I know!) I did not forget her face, nor her grandmother’s who was all made-up like a retired beauty-queen. They called her Jaja. Little did I know that for most of my school years, she will be my seatmate. 

Us with Lola Sonia, Jaja's grandmother.

  

So it is a surprise why in the years that followed, we called ourselves Best Friends. Yes, the 3 of us eventually became friends and went through elementary and high school together.

Until today, I wonder how we became friends since there’s so little that’s common between us. Era Joy is very prim, proper, and is careful about things. She was good at taking down notes during classes. Jaja and I were parasites, we would just photocopy her notebook. She is very loyal and enjoys studying very much.

Jaja (who was named Kathryn Anne by her parents)  is the athletic type. She swims, plays table tennis, goes on biking. She was always like of the boys. So she surprised us all when she joined a beauty contest. She’s very good in math and is a born leader. And yeah, she is in every bit choleric. She was very vocal of her passion for God too.

Meanwhile, I, was not into note-taking, nor any sport…nor any beauty contest. I was into school activities and, writing. I took my journal seriously and loved sending and receiving love notes. I wrote my friends almost every day.  So I guess I can say I was into relationships. Today, these notes are still with me. Precious!

Jaja, Era Joy and I, though we call each other friends, never became ‘exclusive friends’. In fact, most of the time, we went with other people . Like, Era Joy has a group of girls that takes the same route going home. Jaja went with the boys most times and I was always with my best boy friend Jong.  But, we still call each other best friends.

The three of us with our high school classmates. 

In high school we had so many fights. In the years that followed, we had months when we didn’t talk. Sometimes, misunderstanding overtook us. But, as each year concluded, when we had to show up for the annual class reunion, we still call ourselves best friend.

2010 Reunion

Last Sunday, after a long time  of not spending time together because of geography, our time and location plotted. We had a wonderful time talking about stuff, mostly things that don’t concern us. Hahahaha! Over Chicken Inasal and Calea cakes, we thanked God that we have each other to call our vey own friend.

It wasn’t because of what we have done for each other that we call ourselves the best of friends. It is because we call ourselves ‘Best Friends’ that we make an effort to be there for each other. We have vowed not to stop calling ourselves that. Therefore, we are under obligation to prove it everytime. 

And the proving part has always been a pleasure!

Sunday afternoon at The Ruins

 Note: I intend to write about the people I call friends. I pray that as I share to you how they have changed my life, you will also come to appreciate your own friends. 

31: The Kick Off

I turned 31!!!

Yes, on the 10^th of April, while my parents celebrated their 32^nd wedding anniversary, I gracefully turned 31.

Quiet. That’s how I always wanted my birthdays to be, and quiet it was. Except of course,  that my heart could not contain the explosion of joy in my heart for how the Lord has shown me grace through the years. This reminds me of a verse from a song I so love to sing:

Were it not for grace, I can tell you where I’d be

Wandering down some pointless road to nowhere

With my salvation up to me

I know how that would go, the battles I would face

Forever running but losing the race

Were it not for grace

And grace it is, too, that I do what I do now. April is Youth Camp month and God had lined up for me my engagements. These kicked-off my year!

I had three youth camp engagements over the past two weeks. I am blessed to have had the time and the energy to speak at the said events. One was on the topic “Come and Find Rest, another was on Missions and last Friday, I conducted a storytelling workshop with a group of young people.

The anointing of the Holy Spirit is what enables me. Speaking about ‘resting’ to a group of energized young people was a challenge. But I trust that His word always achieves it purposes and I am certain that the sowing will have its time of harvest.

The young people at ETCSD Camp, listening to my lecture on Storytelling

One of the things I always look forward to when I  have such engagements are the traveltimes. Bus rides are always my best times, like how I mentioned it in my previous post. However, for the past two weeks, I had interesting travels. For example, to reach Baja-baja, I had to ride a pump boat, walk a few hundred meters through the bushes and climb steep stairs up the hills.

The Oh-so-challenging route to Baja-baja Baptist Church

Last Wednesday, I challenged young people to respond to missions at a youth camp in Naga-Angela, Cadiz City. To get there, I  had to take the bumpy tricycle ride through the sugarcane fields at about 7 in the evening. The sky was star-strewn. The night was beautiful….until, the motor died. We got to the venue on time, and thankfully, I discovered how much peace I have in the dark.

The young people at Naga-Angela , during the Circuit John Youth Camp
where i spoke about Missions

My best time was taking an hour ride through the mountains of Don Salvador Benedicto on a motorcycle on my way home from another youth camp last Friday. Beholding God’s wonderful work is an experience that adds to my wonder and faith in Him. It was my first long-distance bike ride and I enjoyed every second of it. I’d like to make mention of my friend, Pastor John who made it possible for me to take that ride… and be home in one piece. Ha!!!!

A quick-stop along the DSB Highway, my first ever long-distance ride
on a motorbike

And all these green....if you can see the highway, that's where we travelled!

On the 16th, I started as the registrar of CBBC. I would like to do a separate post on that, so please, allow me time to brew it. hehe :) 

I recently wrote a Ministry Update mail to my partners and friends and directed them here. So, if it is your first time here, WELCOME!!! 

Together, let's rock my 31st  :D 

Where God's Stories Take Me

I had the privilege of spending three days at the Faith Hope and Love Kid’s Ranch in Sariaya, Quezon. I joined  FaithBaptist Church – South Metro’s team who conducted the DVBS at the ranch. I must say that the group of young people I was with was awesome. I’m talking about young boys and girls in their teens who were passionately giving their best to the Lord. They could have chosen to stay at home, or take a needful summer break. Instead, they went all-out for God. Inspiring!

The young people teaching the kids at DVBS.

The FBC-South Metro Team with the FHL Family

FHL Kid’s Ranch is an orphanage God entrusted to Celing and Lorraine Lamar. The Lamars are missionaries who opened their home and family to children who are robbed of it. I came to know them a little more than 10 years ago when I worked with them in the first orphanage they built. When God expanded their territory, they built FHL. God’s miracles unfold to them by the hundreds. Their testimony is powerful!

For 10 years now, FBC-SM handles the DVBS in the orphanage. The kids in the ranch enjoy the time out of their regular school. The kids from the neighborhood come and enjoy the time of learning God’s word too. This year, we had 181 kids! The theme was “Knowing God”.

God is gracious to me for making me a part of this year’s DVBS. They flew me in to be the story teller for  3 days! Appointments like this affirm my gift. There is a certain kind of peace and joy when one operates in the area of his or her gifting. My joy welled up and my peace was overflowing. Praise God!!!

I love this Job!

with the awesome young people of FBC-SM. Me in a jacket because I was sick.  :(

Though short, the time with the kids are worthwhile. DVBS time is an investment of great returns. After all, the scripture says “ My words will not return to me empty. It will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:11.

I will be flying back to Bacolod on Monday to start another journey. That, will be another ‘grace-full’ story.  Thank you for upholding me in your prayers and for celebrating with me the joys of serving God!  








Note: All photos are from my friend CeeJay

An Interruption

Sometimes, random and totally unrelated things conspire to bring me to an 'Aha!' moment. 

Some people call it circumstance. I call it Miracle. 

I think, I am about to walk into one. 

Eiemdee took this photo

Updates in a few weeks. Praying for it. 

March 2: Single and Thankful

I will always thank God for March 2.

When I opened my first blog, Venus Speaks, I wrote mostly about romantic love, a theme I have not given much attention in this blog. The blog ran for 3 years, until I had to take it down for some very childish reasons (which I now obviously regret.haha!). Every single year, in that blog, I’d put up a post titled “I Will Always Thank God for March 2”.

Why? 

In early 2007, my heart got broken. I thought I wouldn’t survive (we all think we wouldn’t, right?). But, one wonderful afternoon in March, 2^nd to be exact, while shedding a pool of tears, God came down and touched me. I was healed, and never cried again for the same reason. Oh, the reason my heart was broken was, the man I was in love with chose someone over me. Well, technically, I chose for him because I was the one who walked out of the relationship. Ok, ok! I will put it simply (*swallows pride*) : He fell in love with someone else…while still in a relationship with me.

This plot is not unique to me. This happens to many people too. Some survive and come out of the heartbreak better, some sadly watch their own lives waste away. Some curse love, others discover another meaning to it. Some come out scared, others, braver. I am the latter. And a little later, bravery met its match.

I fell in love again. And, well, got my heart broken. Again. This time, (*swallows shame*) out of confusion.

I also do not own this plot. Many hearts get broken out of confusion. Some choose to remain confused ‘in the name of love’,  others, just snap out of it fast. I am the latter. Ok, that’s a lie. I cried a lot few times. Truth is, no matter how much you ‘pad’ yourself, you can never be ready for a heartbreak. But, I eventually got over it. The saying is true: Time wounds all that is healed…and well, heals all that it wounds. Haha, I made that up. I have a better reason. 

 I decided to write the part where I got heart broken again, though not in details, to prove a point. In this world, we don’t have immunity to pain. And the measure of your faith is tested everytime it hits you. But more that that, the measure of God’s love is manifested everytime it happens.

Some people have sworn off love because of the countless heartbreaks. But I testify that every after each heartbreak, my idea of love becomes more real and my view of God becomes bigger.

In February, I spoke to a few youth groups about Love. And when these young people asked me questions about their romantic relationships, I was all the more convinced that all my experiences in romance have a purpose. I had an opportunity to shape their thinking about love and pain. It was also a chance to comfort them and tell them how real God is. At the end of each talk, I waved a hand to heaven and asked, “So this is what these were all about?”

At Pinasahi Evangelical Church

Circuit John Youth Rally

1 Corinthians 1;3-4 say, “Praise be to God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the father of compassion and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

When someone comes to me with a broken heart, I can always say, “It’s gonna be ok.” And I can say it with utmost certainty for indeed, after countless heartbreaks of varying degree, I AM OK! 

Today, March 2, I am single and still thankful. 

And yes, I am ready to love. Again.

Or, am I already? ;) 

Stand Up for Jesus

More than five hundred kids sang to Psalty’s words, 

“I’m gonna stand up! Stand up and live for Jesus…Oooo! I’m gonna stand up! Stand up and live for Him.” 

I stood there still blown away by the things God does to me. That small stage I was standing on became my sanctuary.

Last week, I spent three days with the kids at Trinity Christian School. It was my second time to be their Bible Week preacher. The first time was in 2009 when I was still teaching there.Speaking to them always give me that New Testament feel. You know, that time when Jesus was speaking to multitudes. There were more than 500 of them divided into 2 sessions

First Day Storytelling and Interviewing the kids

 I had a great time sharing about how we should live for Jesus. The first day, I talked about how Jesus gave it all for us. On the second day, I talked about how we should love our ‘neighbors’ too the way Jesus loved us. And on the third day, I talked about standing up for God the way Daniel and his friends did in the old testament.

I got carried away when I was telling the story of Jesus hanging on the cross and how, at that moment while He was writhing in pain, he looked at His mockers and in His mind He’s saying ‘I’m doing this for you!’ I looked at the kids’ eyes and they were welling up.

It was also awesome watching the kids write down their commitments on their notebooks. They wrote how they were to show their love to their parents over the weekend (e.g. washing the car, cleaning their parents’ closet).

The kids raising their hands and writing down their commitments

Making the STAND UP FOR JESUS posters

But what drew me to tears was how easily their hearts were drawn to compassion. These are kids who live very comfortable lives but when I showed them photos of kids in desperate situations -  a poor kid feeding his armless mother, a little kid who had no arms feeding his younger brother with his feet, a young kid who had deformed limbs dropping money in the donation box – the hall fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.

THE Looks of compassion. Aaaawwww!

PRECIOUS!!!

A seven yr old girl met me at the lobby and said “Teacher Jabez, you made me cry yesterday. And today, you made me cry again!” I hope it wasn’t because of my acting skills. I pray it was because God was stirring something inside her that would change her life forever. Afterall, I was 7 when I said I wanted to be a missionary.

The kids praying the prayer of dedication.

On Saturday, I had another divine appointment. I spoke to a bunch of young people about Public Speaking. This year was my third time to be invited at the Leadership Camp sponsored by the Rotary Club of Bacolod North. It is wonderful to know that I can leave an imprint in these young people’s lives.

Louie Gonzaga of RI Presenting the certificate to me after the talk.
Right: The young leaders from public schools.

And oh, I must mention too that I spent my nights (at the same time) at the hospital. My grandmother suffered from a minor blood clot in her brain. I get a different kind of high when God sets me up like this.

Our pastor was on leave for 2 weeks. I preached in church last Sunday.

Didn’t Paul talk about God’s grace being sufficient for us? 

IT IS SO TRUE! This week was proof!