July is here!

I woke up today and the verse “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” has once again become real to me. I don’t live a perfect life and being in the flesh means I wake up with 100 % probability of failure. Yet, the Lord give that chance to me every single day.

Today, is the first day of July. Another month, another journey! A lot has happened the months since the last update in this blog. In April, I went to Thailand to visit some missionary friends who have been serving there for many years already. It was an experience that, while it threatened my life, it all the more fortified my courage to go to the ends of the earth for Christ. 

School has started again last month and I am looking forward to many things this Academic year. I started attending Master in Ministries classes and this has been my plan since. The Lord has granted me favor.

I lost my maternal Grandfather two weeks ago. The family is still mourning for is loss but holding on to the hope of that great reunion someday. Meanwhile, we enjoyed the reunion we had when everyone came home to celebrate his life. 

I pray for joy and strength as we continue the year. It is only by His grace that we are sustained. 

A Joy Made Double

The German Philosopher, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, “A joy shared is a joy doubled”. Joy is never full until you share it with somebody. Anchoring on this principle we, the PNULHS Batch 1998 decided to make the Annual Alumni Homecoming truly a joyful celebration. 

Being the host for the 2013 reunion, we wanted everyone to have a great time. Our planning started 3 years before. We brainstormed on themes, activities, and ideas on how we were going to finance it. By December 2012, we came up with a theme that would be fun at the same time  meaningful to us: “NEONINETY8: Light Up the Night!” We prepared a video teaser for everyone to get excited for the reunion. Indeed, excitement took over!

A series of meetings started Batch 98’s year. We were getting ready to turn up the hype. By November, we would be covering the city with tarps and whatnots inviting every one for the reunion. The event planner we consulted already scheduled a site visit.

And then, Yolanda came. 

The tarps never got to the printers. The site visit never happened. Excitement was replaced with an overcoming desire to address the urgent: Hunger, homelessness and worst, hopelessness. 

Batch 98 pulled together the resources that were available. In cooperation with Bangon Cadiznon, whose founder by the way is Chris Ryan Montaño our classmate, we distributed food packs, old clothes, and even school supplies. We also helped our Alma Mater, PNU, by reconstructing the fence that was damaged by the typhoon. We took every opportunity to be of help. Each was trying to get help either from a friend or a company just to be able to fill a need that was pressing that time. We also rounded up other batches who gladly extended their help too. I wrote an article at Cadiz-city.com about one of our operations. Collectively, it was the PNULHS Alumni that was at work. And if I am not mistaken, it was the first time that we worked together representing the Alumni (which is up to now, not an institutionalized group). 

Charity is not new to our batch. By the grace of God, we have been reaching out to kids for the last 5 years. Every December, when we get pledges for the annual gathering, we make sure that a big portion of that goes to our Gift-giving activity. We give out toys, school supplies and let the kids enjoy a Christmas party. Every year, more than our fellowship, this is what most of us look forward to. 

In the aftermath of Yolanda, our impulse was to change plans. A high percentage of the city’s population was affected. There was no electricity for weeks. The whole country was mourning. Companies and groups of people cancelled their parties and donated the funds to the victims instead. We knew spending a lot of money for the NEONINETY8 party we planned for was very impractical…and insensitive. 

And so, we opted for a grand gift-giving activity and just a simple Thanksgiving Celebration with the teachers. Thus, renaming the activity “Light Up a Life”. When we presented this plan to the administration of PNU, they couldn’t agree more. It was exactly what the school wanted to embody – an attitude of helpfulness. 

I am tempted to write down all the criticisms we received because of this decision. But, I will skip that. Instead, let me paraphrase what Winston Churchill said; if you have enemies, it means that you have stood up for something in your life. We were glad to have stood up for a cause that was beyond us. 

The gift-giving was fulfilling. Other batches came to join us, too. Some brought gift packs, tubs of ice cream and even hygiene kits. It was a joy to see the kids (and the adults, too) have fun and enjoy the food. They all received gifts wrapped in Christmas paper. To many of them, that was the only gift they would ever receive that Christmas. 

I am posting the photos below to share with you the joy that we had experienced. Had we pushed through with the party, the only thing we would have gained would be a bad hangover. But this, it has doubled our joy knowing we have made an imprint in the lives of these kids. Hopefully, they will cherish the memory they had on that day and when an opportunity like this comes to them where they would be on the giving end, they would share their joy too. 

Acts 20:35 "In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”

Our Class. PNULHS Class of 1998. (Some were absent though)

Enjoying good food. Spaghetti, sandwich, and hotdogs!

Paul, my classmate scooping the ice cream for the kids.

The smiles that made our day!

These are bosses in their companies. But here, they were tasked to hang the balloons. haaaa!

GAME TIME!

A mother and Child. Happy!

Representatives from other batches who helped us. Thanks guys!

I drink juice like a boss! hahaha!

Even the mothers enjoyed the bounty!

The smiles after receiving their gifts.

No bad day that ice cream can not cure. :)

Future Chess Champion!

Us with two of our High school Teachers.

Fely Grace and I leading the singing

EVERYBODY!!!!

With our teachers during the Thanksgiving Lunch

Photo Credits: Eugene Lacuesta, my favorite photographer (who happens to be my clasmate too )

Without a Bang!

To many of us, our 2014 started out with a Bang! To some, literally.  For most, just that high expectant spirit that brings in the positivity.

Mine didn’t. At least for my family. An uncle, my father’s cousin, died on the 31^st of December. A huge cloud of sadness ushered us into the new year. To add to that, we were all tired from the days before. My father celebrated his retirement and we prepared a party for him. I, had just concluded ‘Light Up A Life’, an event that was 2 years in the making. I will write about that in the next post.

The bed was the only comfort I felt that time. No prayers were said. No ecstatic “Happy New Year” exchanges. I didn’t even pick up my phone. Sleep was the only momentary relief from the sorrow and our aching bodies.

I didn’t wake up with a Eureka moment either. Not like Christmas morning. Not like the January firsts I used to have. I didn’t plan for a personal retreat. I didn’t go , sit and plan for the year. It was an ordinary day. I am big on Moments. And As a personal tradition, I make sure I will have something to remember about the First day of the year. This however, was just plain rising of the sun and setting.

And so was the next. And the next.

But January 4^th came and I was reminded of a breakthrough in my life on that same date, seven years ago. So I decided, THIS has to be special. I went to my favourite place in the campus ( Dr. R.Kole’s garden, where else?) and plopped down my Bible, my planner, and 4 other journals. Laugh at me I have four different journals; one for my spiritual walk, one for my bible readings, one for my future husband (What??!) and one for my prayer lists that I only write on every January 1^st.

The Lord is sweet. My bible reading that day fell on 1 Chronicles 16. It was David’s Psalm of Thanks. I wrote down verses 8-36 on my journal. David’s thanksgiving is very humbling. This man who has everything, he has the stature that Kings tremble at,  and the favour of God and man. He was even called ‘A man after God’s own heart. Out of the abundance the mouth speaks. He spoke none about himself.

The Lord exposed my heart. More than ever, every day since that day, the Lord has been showing me how wicked my heart is.  Every good deed was in question. Every kind word was scrutinized. Every loving act was dissected. As if God was asking me: “Are you REALLY doing this for me?”

I crumble at the thought that most of those things I claim to be ‘good’ are actually good only for the pile. Nothing. Filth.

But, as I made my list of “Thanksgiving” for 2013, a certain joy grew inside me. Yes, the joy of having been graced-out! Undeserving but blessed anyway! I spent a good few hours just having that alone moment with God and just poured out my heart to him. Its funny how candid we can get with God when he weeds away all our pretensions.

I closed all my journals with a resolve that God is TRUTH. And, in this world where the human heart is ridden with lies (including mine), I can trust Him who is true.

(If I had not mentioned, I started the year nursing a spat with a very close friend. Lies can break hearts. And my heart was in pieces. It was only today, when another friend talked about forgiveness that I was fully convinced to let go.)

I am reminded of the part of the Christmas story that is often not discussed at length, nor played out in Christmas pageants. That of the gloominess of Bethlehem when Herod had all the young boys, 2 years old and below, killed to prevent the Messiah from fulfilling his purpose. There were no fireworks but weeping and wailing. Equally noisy. But, in the heavens, there was an excitement, and uproar of praise, an unending dancing of the angels knowing that God’s plans are coming along just as he had penned them.

The fireworks only lasted for a few minutes. The sparks, seconds. Not enough to light up the cloud that descended upon us. Not enough to warm my heart that have gronw cold to human relationships. But having that moment on the 4^th has planted a joy in my heart knowing that there is a glorious plan already laid out for me. A plan for a ‘hope and a future’.

So bring it on, Lord! 

Get Up, it's Christmas!

We wake up on Christmas day all giddy about the gifts we opened at midnight. We get excited about the ham scraps and the coffee that wait at the breakfast table. But we linger a little longer in bed telling ourselves that this is the only holiday when it is excused to be lazy.  

Somehow, Christmas Day has been an excuse for almost everything.

Over eat. Give presents. Be extra kind. Be less sarcastic. Say only nice things. Sing a song. Read your Bible. Talk to relatives abroad. Send a Christmas greeting to someone you are too mesmerized to talk to. Clean the closet. Kiss. Say you love someone. Not be angry. Tolerate your neighbor’s lousy singing. Eat pork. Eat everything. Write a blogpost and not be shout at by your mother for sitting in front of your computer all day. Greet everyone on Facebook or Twitter or across the street.

I don’t know where we get the idea but it seems innate for everyone to be good at Christmas. And there also seems to be a sense of entitlement at Christmas – “I have the right to do this or get that because it is Christmas.” Maybe I am growing old. Or maybe we have glazed Christmas too much that it looks different than it should be.

Family gatherings, yes, but Forgiveness must be evident. We eat together at the table and vomit at each other’s presence the week after. Jesus was born to bring us back into the family of God. And if God has not forgiven us through Jesus, where would we get the idea for family reunions?

Festivity, yes, but joy is necessary. Our houses are adorned with  all things colourful. Our electricity bill goes sky high because of these over the top lights we decorate our homes with. But when the lights are put out and the decorations are put away in boxes, it is what the home is made of that is revealed. After the party laughter fades and you are left with party cups and confetti to throw away, it is the joy of having shared love with people that will give you strength to do the cleaning. And this joy must be from Him who has exchanged streets of gold for a bed of hay.

Gifts yes, but giving is better. Since the start of this week, my FB timeline has been flooded by selfies showcasing the gifts my friends received from people who love them. It is wonderful to feel loved. But in my opinion, we must endeavor to be on the giving end especially to those who can not give back. After all, we have Christmas because God wants to give us a life that is abundant.

Growing up, Christmas used have so much fuss.  As the years went on, it became quieter. What is difficult about getting older is no amount of fancy can cover up fact. And at Christmas, I can not run away from the nagging question that confronts me: When everything is stripped away, what remains?

I woke up today with ham scraps and a cup of coffee waiting for me at the table. I could have lingered a little longer on the bed. But, it is Christmas day! And I would not make it an excuse to be lazy.

Outside my room is a broken world waiting for hope. And if writing this would punch a small hole in that darkness so that light would break through, then I’m getting up.

The ham scraps and coffee can wait.

May your celebration be evident of the true meaning of Christmas! Blessings! 

Christmas Greetings to all my blogger friends! 

Help! My French Press is Broken...and Other World Problems

The sound of water boiling in my electric heater excited me. I was looking forward to capping my lunch with a cup of freshly brewed coffee. At times like this, when the school is on semestral break, things are really slow at the office and I get really sleepy. I thought I’d prep myself a cup of coffee to get me going.

Alas, when I poured the ‘just boiled’ water, the glass leaked! It was heartbreaking. I was planning on being on a bad mood for the rest of the day (yes, its possible to plan to be on a bad mood..haha!) until something slapped me back to my senses.

SOURCE

Last Tuesday, our worlds were rocked. Literally. A 7.2 magnitude earthquake hit parts of Visayas, with the epicentre in Bohol. It hit us too, in Negros, getting a 4-point-something magnitude. Nothing was damaged on our end but in Bohol and Cebu, churches that were centuries old were toppled down to pieces. Lives were claimed and many families were homeless.

2007. Leaning on the sturdy wall of Baclayon Church during a tour.

The internet loomed with photos of the damages the disaster brought upon the islands. Bohol is a tourist destination mainly because of its beautiful beaches and the old churches that were reminiscent of the Spanish life in the Philippines. But all those churches are now reduced to rubble. It was devastating to watch.

Before typing that last paragraph, I sent a message of condolence to a former student who lost her child at birth. She posted pictures of her little angel’s funeral on Facebook. Heartbreaking.

The southern part of the Philippines is still recuperating from the wounds of war that I think was pointless. Frustrating.

The US Government just ended a shutdown. Scary. (Although, I don’t understand half of it.)

Somewhere in the world, a child dies of hunger, or gets trafficked, or wanders aimlessly, ignorant of the world around him because he has no access to education. And yes, he could not care less about whether I will get my coffee right now or not. Or that I prefer brewed over instant.

The earth broke open and still keeps on turning.

I should not fuss over this broken French press.

Philippians 4:6-9

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 

p.s. I had tea and some cookies instead.

Faith for the Unexplained

This is a page from Elizabeth Elliot's book "Keep a Quiet Heart" which I am re-reading.

There was a time in my life when I stared at the blue sky and asked God to literally write the answers on the clouds. I had questions. Questions that starved for explanations. I pleaded, I wailed, I fasted. But God seemed deaf. I waited. I gave Him an ultimatum. He seemed unmoved. 

I let out deep sighs most times. I have been telling God, I need answers but that if He chose to not give me any, I would painfully trust Him and believe Him, still. At one point, I gave up. I surrendered and promised God I will never raise the issue again, nor will I ask for answers. This was the time when I wrote To Feel Right. 

There were bouts of sadness, still, but no more questions. I thought, some things are better left untold. 

The other week, without any hint of expectation, God gave all the answers to all my questions back then. It was wonderful to hear an explanation that was carefully, and chronologically presented as if it was crafted through time. The better thing is, there was no pain attached to any of those issues anymore. It was like hearing a narrative in history class. All accounts are painted with equal importance, yet, there is no longer any  paint attached to it - only a deep appreciation for the present. 

The Lord makes all things beautiful, in His time. I am looking forward to even more beautiful things as He keeps adding to my Faith Experiences. Oh, what a glorious moment it is when you taste the rewards of faith. 

Proverbs 25: 2 "It is the glory of God to conceal a matter..."

What Songs Do You Sing In Church?

When we sing uncommon songs in church, it turns the singing into a concert of only a few - that of the Worship Team. I have nothing against contemporary Christian songs or upbeat/new P&W songs (because I love most of them too), but I feel that community singing in church must have songs that the congregation knows by heart. Otherwise, it’s just another emotional moment for a few, while the rest is torn between trying to decode the words of the song and marveling at how beautiful the voice of the singers are, or how good the bassist is (the latter is always the case for me).

SOURCE

Maybe my heart is not right.

Or maybe it is just longing to publicly declare the goodness of God in a language I know. The language of songs that I grew up singing in church. The language of songs that are already imbedded in my heart. Songs like “Great is thy faithfulness” was what I blurted out many times God has given me victory. When I felt unstirred, singing the lines “There’s within my heart a melody, Jesus whispers sweet and low,..” and welling up in the chorus “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus...sweetest name I know” brought me back to the excitement of having Jesus in my life.

There’s Victory in Jesus. I know whom I have believed. What a friend we Have in Jesus. Amazing Grace. All the way my savior leads me. I could go on mentioning all the beautiful hymns that has been the soundtrack that plays over my head in this life I live with Christ. Even the words in their titles are already powerful. And should we start talking about the history of these hymns? There’s a vast array of stories that only heaven is big enough to accommodate.

My favorite heartbreak song is “It is well with my soul”. That, and “Farther Along”. And I am only 32. Haha!

Everyone in our family enjoys singing hymns and familiar gospel songs. And no, we don’t wear long skirts. And each one of us has a ‘chipped edge’ he is not proud of. We are so not the "holy, holy -type".

When I was in high school, one of our projects was to cook Palitao in our Home Economics class. My group mates and I were sitting around the kalan waiting for the dough we dropped in the boiling water to float. A few minutes passed and the palitao still did not float. We were so scared that we will fail at this attempt and face the wrath of our teacher. (Those who have been in Mrs. Ascura’s class know what I mean. Hello Maam! ) We were helpless but not hopeless. Then my classmate and I started singing “God will make a Way.” A couple of minutes later, the dough started to surface in the boiling water. I am sure it wasn’t the song that made it float. (I found out later it takes a few minutes and a certain temp for the Palitao to be cooked). But we countered our seemingly defeated spirits with words from a song in church that summed up our hopes. Thinking about that incident makes me laugh. Faith over palitao doesn’t sound so monumental as compared to Moses’ facing the red sea. But for me, it was.

In May, I attended the Global Discipleship Congress in Manila at the new facility of CCF. We had over 7 thousand people in the auditorium. People from different countries, denominations, discipleship programs, modes of worship...and yes, choice of songs. During singing, many noticed that the building was swaying. Especially if a familiar song comes up on the playlist. (And we were told the swaying was normal…hehe). On the 2nd day, when the youth praise team came up, the sound system broke down before they could even start. The technical glitch took a few minutes to fix. While everyone was blankly waiting, an instrumental version of the song “I love you Lord” was faintly playing in the background. It didn’t take long before the whole congregation started singing the words to it. And an even more beautiful thing happened. The music died. The whole auditorium was turned into a giant acapella choir. All 7,000 of us…singing one song. Without lyrics on the overhead. In tears. Spontaneous. No worship leaders, just worshipful hearts. It was a glimpse of heaven.

I work (and live) in a Bible school and so I hear these new worship songs night and day. They have become familiar to me. I can sing them if they are played in church. I am glad in my church we still sing familiar songs. But whenever I attend churches who have eliminated hymns, my heart would break for the old people. They, who have seen God’s mercies longer than we, the younger generation have, are not given the opportunity to declare it. Their hairs have turned gray from watching the church’s seasons turn. And they are still there because they have anchored their faith in a timeless God. And maybe, they wish to sing timeless songs too.

Last year, my friend and I attended the dedication of our common friend’s daughter. When he saw that the opening song in the liturgy is “To God be the Glory”, his face lit up and proudly told his partner “I know this song!” He sang with all gusto as if the words were coming out from his heart. After which, he turned to me and said, “I missed going to church.”

I saw right there the power of singing together as a body of Christ. Congregational singing is supposed to connect us, not alienate us.

Again, I am not against contemporary music in church. I am against singing it when only a few know the songs. And it’s not hard to tell when that happens.

Have I hit a nerve? Or you think I am just getting old? Haha!

Disclaimer: i believe worship is more than just singing. But that would be for a totally different post. Hehe