Caught Between Church and School (for Youth Leaders/Workers)

“Busy sa Academics pero sa church hindi” . I think we should stop making our young people choose between church activities and school. I mean it. This is for anyone working with the young people, from a former young person shaped by the church and the schools. 

 I love studying, or maybe the idea of it. I loved going to school and I feel like I enjoyed the environment where I can always get some new information, exchange Ideas and to some degree, be transformed by them. When I was younger though, I couldn’t wait for ‘studying’ to finally be over. There was one moment in high school when I got so overwhelmed and frustrated after I realized I still have years and years after until I finish college. Little did I know studying DOES NOT end in college. 

I love going to church too, and doing ‘church things’. When I was younger, I was active in the youth group. As I grew in my Christian life, I realized that my Christianity should not just be exclusively expressed in ‘Christian activities’. To a certain degree, I was transformed by that thought. One day, I picked up a book in my Tatay’s bookshelf that had the title “NOT JUST ON SUNDAYS”. It talked about how we should bring our Christ-like attitude everywhere. 

 Back then, school was never a competition for church. In fact, I came to believe that school was the overflow where my Christlikeness can be observed by others. Most times I failed, of course. 

So, it appalls me every now and then to read on my FB feed posts like “Busy sa Academics pero sa church Hindi” or something to that effect that creates a dividing line between the secular and the spiritual life!

I understand that the academic pressures are different now than then. And maybe, we see less of our young people in the church now because they have stuff to do for school. I also understand that that is frustrating for pastors. But, instead of throwing statements that make them guilty, why don’t we strategize? Adapt! Youth Fellowship does not have to be on Sundays if it means our teens can’t attend. Its not in the Bible to always do it on Sundays! Heck, YF is not even in the Bible! On that note, maybe we should also dig deeper why we are doing other activities. Are they serving purposes that enable our young people to grow and be more like Christ or… they’re merely handed down activities for generations? It’s time to deconstruct.

Here. Teach them to grow in the word! That’s the major thing! Major on the majors, the trappings are always optional. But, here’s another thing, Academics is as much an avenue where you can reflect the love and grace of Christ as Sunday school, or the youth fellowship or the outreach. In fact, at certain stages in our lives, God calls us to do something. I believe, when our teenagers are in school, that is where God is calling them. And they should be faithful in their studies as much as they are faithful in memorizing the assigned verses in youth group. 

Dear youth leaders, please dont slack in your academics and be active in church. That is bad testimony. Heaven doesn’t give you a point for missing a class to do something ‘for the ministry’. Trust me, it does not look so Christ-like for you to miss half of your class for the week and be leading the worship on Sunday! Imagine if your teacher was in your church! (When I was working in the Bible college, we discouraged students from missing classes just because they had to attend the ‘youth rally’. In fact, one of the youth leaders had to make compromises in his schedule because we made him understand that for that season, God’s calling for him was to be a Bible Student, to be fully prepared for the ministry. He got it!)

And dear young person, if you are in school, do all you can to maximize the faculties God has given you! You brains should not be slightly used —exercise it! Your enthusiasm for Discipleship Group meeting should be the same as when you do group work in class! You should be able to memorize the periodic table without grudging the way you memorize the books in the Bible! You should be excited for the opportunity to go to school the way you are excited for the freedom to go to church. You are called to be God’s light in the campus you are in. Shine! 

I don't want you to think that the temporal is better than the spiritual. What I am trying to say is that when we are falsely emphasizing attendance in activities as the only avenue of their expression of faith, then we are stunting their spiritual growth. And when we get them divided over church activities and school responsibilities, then we are unconsciously basting them with the idea that God is not interested in their lives outside of church. That's dangerous. 

The youth ministry is pivotal in the life of every young person. I admire every youth worker I know who stick to Biblical truths yet evolve in their strategy to get to the heart of every kid. I pray, as people ministering to the young people, that we erase the diving line between what’s worldly and what’s spiritual and see our every effort AS TO  the Divine. Only then can we raise a generation who is conscious of bringing Christ to the world —their world, their future, where we will not be in.

Our posts will not transform them. And I do not expect this to transform you as well. But, maybe to a certain degree (as much as you hope your post would do to them), it will prick us somewhere and, make us bruise a little, and then move us to start making changes for the better. 

Me at 38, loving the school and the church at the same time. 

My Thoughts about Banished

Opening a book to read is like swinging a door open. Each book I read leads me to a room where the author creates a certain environment by stringing words together. Some rooms, I like to stay a while and then leave. Some rooms I kept visiting. Some rooms, I decided, I’d never enter again. And then, there are rooms in my shelf that are still waiting to be opened. 

When I got my hands on Banished, I knew the kind of room I was getting into before I even started reading it. Pastor Joshua has a way of making me uncomfortable when reading his work. Somehow, as in the books he wrote in the past, he makes me rethink my life and my witness. Halfway into banished, he did not disappoint. I was right.

In Banished, Pastor Joshua takes us back to the events surrounding the birth of Jesus and helps us look at it with the lens of the present time. In my opinion, the west has sanitized our image of Christmas that it is almost easy to overlook how scandalous the circumstances were, just as disgusting as the stories we have in the present day. He then seamlessly brings us to look at Jesus’ life and teachings in contrast to how we, the church, live it today. Are we "walking the talk" of the sermon on the mount? To answer, read the book. 

As a student of the Bible, Banished sparked an excitement in me as I savored the author’s own take of the scriptures, the snippets of history he dashed here and there, the laborious research he put into his work --- it was compelling! 

As a Christian involved in ministry, he rattled my convenient way of ministering. Suddenly, I am thrown into a puddle of information, opening my eyes even more keenly on the plight of the OFW, the struggles of those in the margins, and  the unbridgeable gap between the Lazaruses and the Rich Men of today’s world. In one of those pages, I came to the realization that many of the theories we teach in missions, in the Bible Schools, or those we even observe from ministers ahead of us in the field, are no longer applicable in the age we live in. Many of our strategies are coated with agenda.  Pastor Joshua writes “Authenticity and integrity are the key to transformative evangelism and discipleship.”  He talks extensively of humility as an integral virtue in the ministry --- something many, I observed, have dispensed of in exchange of militant, aggressive, number-driven Christianity.

As an adult finding my place in the world, a new sense of adventure  was planted in me in the last few chapters of Banished. The author talks about living our witness in public spaces, understanding first the perception of those outside the Christian tradition. We often fault ourselves in gagging those outside the ‘faith’ with Bible verses and doomsday revelations, instead of listening to them – finding out where they’re at, and taking them along in the journey of knowing Jesus.

Pastor Joshua concluded the last chapter with a voice of hope. I closed the book, my thoughts still easing through the discomfort of knowing that my actions as a Christ-follower have not always been in congruence with my talk. I am plagued with questions.  I just left a room that made me uncomfortable. But, like many who met Jesus – along dusty roads and polished palaces, in sinking boats and atop feeble tree branches --- discomfort is the way to discovering the truth; to live in perpetual discomfort of the mind, the heart and the body, until you come to the resolve that Jesus is truly, truly, the only One that satisfies them all.

Get the book. Get into that room. Get uncomfortable.

Book is available through Central Logos https://www.facebook.com/centralogosofficial . 

Bad Decisions (I'm Decaffeinating, again!)

I love coffee. But many a night, I found myself saying "I shouldn't have had that second cup!"

The most horrible thing about our bad decisions is, we were present when we made them. And that is haunting. (And Palpitating!) Sometimes they cannot be undone, but we are always redeemable from it. (Ehem, Gaviscon!) It takes God's grace to get us out of it, and right decisions to keep us away from it. When we fall into the trap of always spiritualizing things, we refuse to take  responsibility of our participation in our bad decisions. And so, the cycle continues. 

As I deal with work backlogs, for example,  I am confronted with the fact of my chronic procrastination. I get flashbacks of the many times I wasted an opportunity  to work. And then I begin to think about all the other parts of my life that are leaking with inefficiency and chaos. But, if I refuse to acknowledge these things, or say it was someone else's  job, or worse, blame this on the pandemic, I have missed an opportunity for growth. Spiritually and Professionally. If I say the devil is making me procrastinate, he will laugh!

When we experience abuses, for example, we can not say no one was responsible for it. While God does make something good out of what others meant for evil, it does not justify  the evil. Our spiritual understanding saves us from going crazy over its effects; insisting on human responsibility puts a stop to the abuse. Our flawed understanding of  man's volition and God's will most times keeps us from making the necessary decisions that will change our lives. Or that of others. But indecision is ALSO a decision. 

Treading into this new decade of adulthood, I welcome these pauses where I get the opportunities to learn from bad decisions either of myself or others. And learning is measured by the outcome.  I hope someday when I come back to this post and put myself against the scale, I would find that I attended lesser bad decisions. 

Let's start by getting off coffee. Shocking, I know! 

Acid reflux: 

Gaviscon: 

Kapehan: Luh! 

💛

#FortyForward

Slow Growth is Still Growth

While I do not undermine the effects of the virus to every aspect of society, I am thankful for how it has created an opportunity for me to discover what really matters to me, test out my own limits in different areas, and build habits that hopefully, will be beneficial to me moving forward. I have mined a wealth of encouragement from doing something regularly and getting results. Albeit not 'astounding', the effects of little changes in our lifestyle do make a difference.

We can no longer leave it to 'nature' to shape us. The world has 'genetically modified' everything. Our body, mind and spirit has to be intentionally nurtured in order for us to relish the life God has given us. And I believe, it is never too late to make that first step to doing something about what you would want to change. 

I learned from someone that it is systems that bring results. Goals may help but oftentimes, when we don't reach them, we become frustrated. However,  when we create systems in whatever aspect of our lives, we see our progress little by little.

Those who know me can testify that consistency is not my strength. Variation is. But, as I unfold the wonder of creating systems, I found out I don't have to beat myself about being inconsistent. 

I've been  exercising  regularly since March. This is my longest streak so far. Years ago, I had episodes of running that went for about a month, followed by a thousand excuses. Hahaha! 

I am struggling to count my calories. It helped me shed some weight before, so I'm trying to incorporate that in my eating habits again. 

I tried eating mostly plant-based meals for 3 weeks. "Mostly" because what's a pizza without cheese, right? But I learned a dozen recipes that made me love eating plant based food. 

I have practiced sifting my thoughts. Philippians 4:8 on repeat. 

Have I mastered these habits? Definitely not! 

Some days  I excitedly play a 30-minute work-out on Youtube but when the first sweat breaks, I decide I'm good for the day! Hahaha! But I happily show  the single 'dent' in my abs that I believe is the result of my standing abs exercises. Take note, SINGLE! I had to force my sister to 'see'it. Yes I still have tummy rolls. :D 

I overeat and credit it to cheat days. Sometimes cheat dayssss.

For breakfast this morning I ate hotdogs and eggs. First processed meats after almost a month of clean eating. 

There are talks and rumors, fears and anxious thoughts that surround me everyday. Sometimes, I slip a crisp "What the FUDGE?!" I still want to break dishes sometimes when I wash them.

But I have learned to be kinder to myself because that is how God shows his love to me every single day. When the sun rises, I know I have another shot at becoming better than yesterday. When it comes to self-transformation (mind, body and spirit), you can never run out of chances. For.As.Long.As.You. Live. Other people may give up on you, but you owe it to yourself, and to your Creator most importantly, to keep growing ---because everything we need for growth is right inside of us. 

Get up. Wiggle if you must, but get up! 

Do something productive. Stop if you must, but never go three days without doing it.(this has been life changing for me). Whether it is exercising, calorie counting, eating right, get back on track. You can. 

Whatever works for you, do it! 

Don't forget to enjoy watching yourself grow. Slow growth is still growth. :) 

My Meatless Meals 

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Trusting God with Our Stories

"I could live life alone

And never fill the longings of my heart

The healing warmth of someone's arms

And I could live without dreams

And never know the thrill of what could be

With every star so far and out of reach

I could live without many things

And I could carry on..." --- Avalon

This is how my life song starts. I embraced it as I entered the last decade. I was at a place of uncertainty, but with an overarching excitement at what God was going to do in my life. I had just committed my life to full-time ministry, specifically to be a cross-cultural missionary, and while the future was unsure, I was confident that it was what God was telling me to do. 

Fast forward to the end of the decade, it was not exactly what I thought life would be for me. God, the Grandweaver of my life, had a different design in mind. I thought a recap was in order. However, once I started writing these 'events' in my life one by one, they seemed to be separate from the other. At times, the things God made me do were completely at other ends of the pendulum. So I decided, maybe I would just write about where I am at now as we enter a new decade in my journey. 

2020

Here I am, in the cool of the evening, just a little past midnight, typing this post with ink stains on my fingers from writing case digests with cheap fountain pens. Sprawling on my bed are books, notes and more pens. I study in the evenings. 

During the day, I cross a bridge to the place where I sit on a desk, respond to emails, queries, print documents, answer the phone and basically do the rigodon of a secretary. On special days, I am the registrar. I call myself the #EverydayMamumugon. 

On weekends I pack my bags and head back to my hometown beside the sea, lounge in my mother's living room, get coffee, go to church, and blink. And then, it is Monday again. 

But, I don't ever remember telling myself  "Hay, Monday na naman!".  And you will see why. 

The way I describe it, it seems like my life is pretty uninteresting --- a contrast to what I had imagined it to be in 2010. But truth is, for countless times, I have caught myself at a loss for words at how God had tweaked my story.

I have been to places I have never imagined I could be in. I haven't set foot in West Africa yet, but...but..this decade, we will never know. 

I have been on stages and pulpits I feel so unworthy of. I sometimes laugh at how God takes me from a classroom of  seven sleepy students to a hall of a thousand (or even more) young people packed with adrenaline. Whether it be the classroom or the auditorium, I see lives hungry for God. 

I have been to hills of victory and valleys of pain. I tried fighting wounded. It only revealed to me that God's character never changes. For every win - a milestone. For every pain - a growth point. 

I have been to committee meetings and coffee breaks where I met people who, I would have never met had I not allowed God to let me be  like water in his plans --- flowing to where He cuts a path. The coffee chats are more enjoyable. Memorable, even. 

I have been to classrooms and bar rooms. They're all the same --- filled with drunk men, intoxicated by intellect, who throw statements that don't make sense. But, the teachers and the bar tenders -- they... they can spin good in every tragedy. 

I have been to chaos where demands grab you by the hand. But, in the midst of those were springs of joy where God invited me to freely drink. 

I have been to a place called Love. One that gives selflessly for the sake of another. One that is not held captive by feelings but liberated by truth. Truth most times is hard to swallow. But, that is how you know you have been to a place called Love. I have been to one. 

I have been to a place called Surrender. And it did not feel comforting. But oh the taste of liberty, refreshing to the soul!

 I tried writing the things God has been surprising me with. Each of them outdoes the other. I mean, does God ever run out of ideas? My stomach is churning with excitement at the possibilities of the outrageous things I ask the Lord to do. This decade will definitely outdo the last. 

In all my wanting and believing for the big things God will do, my heart still quietly sings to me the  part of my lifesong that says

"I couldn't face my life tomorrow 

Without your hope in my heart I know

I can't live a day without You

Lord, there's no night and there's no morning

Without Your loving arms to hold me

You're the heartbeat of all I do

I can't live a day without You" ---Avalon

If all the things I hope for will vanish in the wind, Jesus is enough for me. Here's to another decade of trusting God for a beautiful story. 

 January 4, 2020
(I should do a post on why January 4 is significant to me through the years. hehehe! ) 

Helpless

I wonder what it is with September that I always get the urge to write. Like a buzzer, or a vibrating alert, I often find myself checking my blogs in September and panic at the fact that for the months that went by, I have been silent.

I have not been truly silent, of course. I have rekindled my love for journalling. Not like it really went away. My entries have been frequent. I felt that my thoughts are safer there and free of any judgement. 

An opportunity to speak to the community at CPU came to me again, giving me an avenue to declare the encompassing love of God to all. Last month was quite eventful. I anticipate the coming month to be even more eventful with the semestral examinations in Law school, weddings to attend and the ending of another semester here in the Bible College. While the weight of what is to come seems already heavy to think about, I rest in the promise that God will help me overcome. I have to rest, lest I cower. 

On a more personal note, the past couple of months have been quite interesting. I went through (and I think I still am in ) a season of undoing. I met a few people that put me in a very uncomfortable situation. The good kind of uncomfortable, that is. 

While I would like to reserve the details to myself, this is what I am willing to share: In the many years that I am a Christian, there have been milestones where I mark a certain growth point. Usually, it was via a heartbreaking situation. However, this one was not. I was just caught off guard, like God grabbed me by the hand and said "We need to talk!" One night, I found myself crying before the Lord because he impressed upon my heart that I have not been trusting Him about many things in my life --- especially the matters which are important to me. 

I felt I was being un-clothed. I was very vulnerable. I felt naked before God. And I saw how, all these years, I have been grinding on my own... as if I can handle things naturally. I realized I held tightly to my pride, that I do not intentionally ask the Lord for the things I desire because I do not like the feeling of wanting somethign or someone so much. I have life a linear life when it comes to asking God. My thought pattern was this: I want 'this', If God wants it for me, he will give it. If not, I will not bother. 

But how in the world do I experience the Joy of Asking and actually receiving? I have not. Because I asked not. Asking, like begging, is a sign that one is in lack of something. I never liked the thought of asking, much less begging. 

And that is how I found out my faith was problematic. Because I wanted something/someone and under the 'normal' circumstances I operate in, there is no way, NO WAY, I will ever experience the joy of having that desire satisfied. And upon realizing my complete helplessness, I turned to God.

However, it was not the 'wanting' that churned my spirit. It was the discomfort that I do not truly know God and therefore have not truly trusted Him with even the little details of my life. It was devastating to watch everything 'i have built' in my spiritual life deconstruct, like chaff, they disappeared. I had nothing to hold on to. No spiritual life to be proud of. 

And at the point of surrender, I crumbled. 

Oh what relief it is to be rid of yourself, be broken down and wait... wait for the Master to pick you up, piece by piece, to be put together in the way He had always had in mind about you. 

Scroll Down (The Fight is Not Between Us)

One of my Facebook friends posted that he voted for the controversial politician who won a seat in the Senate. To that he added the virtue of being united in 'faith', in effect, telling whoever gets to read it, "My religion is powerful." Educated. Professional. Religious.

I scrolled down.

Many times when I read the rants on Facebook or Twitter of friends who suffer through the heavy traffic on their daily commute, I shake my head. I live in the campus where I work, in a city where everything is 10 minutes away - 40, when it is the holidays. I could only imagine how they feel.

I scroll down.

Today, on Twitter, a tax reform 'advocate' reacted when I made a comment that "Tag dise-syete na ang sardinas." He/she asked why I was more worried about the the price of sardines when I should be "tired about the low productivity due to traffic, hindered creative jobs because of lack of infrastructures". He/she suggested I should just cooperate and support the government's #BuildBuildBuild. Have I not been compelled to do so, thus, the 17-peso sardines?

I said a line or two. I scrolled down.

Someone posted online "It's just politics." Saying to the effect that we should not let it ruin our relationships. I agree on letting love rule in our relationships. But I definitely disagree that "It is just Politics." Our politics is a reflection of what we value, what we believe in, and what we want for the future of our children. I started writing it down as a comment to that post. However, it was my mother who posted it, and lest I be misjudged by online spectators as a rebellious, disrespectful child for not agreeing with my mother, I desisted.

I scrolled down.

We are judged by what we put online. That's the risk we take when we post our thoughts, or a photo,  a meme, or an article. And the person's reaction to it would largely be affected by the way he perceives you. If he likes you, he understands your sarcasm. If he doesn't, he would think your are mocking...and Christians shouldn't mock. Yes, we are fond of pulling-out the "What-Kind-Of-Christian-Does-That" card on people. It is even worse for pastors.

When a girl is raped or murdered, you would read the rage from people. But the angriest ones are the mothers of daughters. Understandably so because she could not imagine what kind of hell she would go through if that happens to her own.

When a fragment of the society suffers a calamity ,or an oppression, people start online revolutions. Rightly so because they need the voice to cry out so the spotlight's be turned on them. For help, for retribution, for the realization that they are a 'fragment that makes the world whole'.

When corruption is blatant in the government we rally our cries on the streets... but more often now, in the world wide web --- the new highway. We let them know we are watching.

No, we don't scroll down. We say our piece. We string our words so they can be deadly enough like a sword. Sometimes wielding them in all directions, hoping for a hit no matter how wide the battle ground. Most times we miss the target. And we end end up wounding a co-worker, a friend, a drinking buddy, a relative...or ourselves.

But we type away with blood on our hands  because we are convinced that we are fighting a worthy cause.

A mother painstakingly goes through the rigors of raising a daughter who will become a teacher, or a son who will someday be an  doctor, and she will not let any pervert steal that away. She makes that known on Facebook.

A conscientious public school teacher, who shows up every morning in a room full of empty minds waiting to be poured upon with hope... but  emptier stomachs with lesser hope of getting filled. He would not allow any selfish politician in the guise of public service to steal away their dreams. He retweets a link on that investigation update.

A promising leader who has climbed from poverty to get an education, uses his education to lift others out of it. He will not allow ignorance to dictate his destiny.. and that of others. He campaigns online.

An advocate for children lives the life of a vagabond. Peddling the cause of the children to whoever will have the courage to make them a priority - a celebrity, a  philanthropist, a diplomat...anyone, and anywhere. She would not allow the children to be victims by the systems their parents have voted for. She massively campaigns on social media.

They are not on the streets. They are in their kitchen, in their desks, in the courtrooms, aboard a plane, doing what they do best --- fighting for someone.And so, when you read what they write online, it is not merely a rant. It is a spillage of frustrations that they could have just walked over, but refused to. Slippery floors are more dangerous.

They write at the risk of being misconstrued because those who can't be heard --- the fisherman who stays all night casting his net, the street-sweeper who  wakes up before dawn, the farmer who bends his back all day --- they too, have children who are swelling up with dreams. We have no right to shut them down and say "stop posting, do something".

If someone's transcribed thoughts are not a threat to the life you choose to live, be kind. His weapon is not aimed at you. Let him fight the battles he picked for himself. Remember, you are not his enemy.

Scroll down.

Even if he unintentionally scrapes your ego.

Scroll down.

You are not the enemy.

Scroll down.